Let’s Talk-Where Does This Leave me?

So, after submitting my query to dozens of agencies and a couple of publishers the answer is always the same: “No, and good luck with your publishing endeavors.” A slap in the face right? The only reason why I keep going is because once I get something planted in my mind, that is what I am going to do. When God gives you a vision then that is where your journey will ultimately lead you-unless you quit. Ever since I picked up the pen (well it was a pencil first) and figured out that I possessed the power of creation or better yet the gift of story telling, teachers, family and friends have encouraged me to write. And I don’t do it just to say,”hey, I’m a writer”, I do it because the characters refuse to leave me alone…I do it because I find solace in the imaginary world I bring to life. Am I the best at grammar? Nope. If anything I am fair to say the least. I understand the importance of a comma here, and a period there or if my character is an emotional wreck then of course an exclamation point. But isn’t that the purpose of an editor? To clean up the grammatical mess that authors leave behind in their quest to finish a story?

One publisher told me that my writing was passive. Well that stung…and she told me that on a scale of 1-10 my writing was a 7. Then she went on about her company worshipping the One True God and that they couldn’t support a story telling of gods and goddess? Uh, ok… I am not atheist-one. Two, she totally missed the entire truth of the story because she was looking at the wrong elements. And three, she said I used too many bad words. A few of my characters curse, so what? She totally had me all wrong. I have read many successful books where words such as “bitch, pussy (I hate that word just so we are clear and I do not use it ever), ass, fuck, shit” and of course the N-word are used. Repeatedly. It just depends on the nature of the story itself and how the usage of the words define the characters. For instance, if you have a character who just so happens to be a rapper then what do rappers do? They are misogynistic, expletive, aggressive, hood (for those of you who do not understand what hood means, think urban), etc…

As tough as all of this has been I keep my head up. I understand that agents and publishers are looking for authors who can make them money. They are not looking for someone whose words can heal the world one reader at a time or challenge society’s morals and whatnot, no. They are looking to make money. It is really kind of sad because it becomes less about the art itself or the author. So, where does that leave me? Well I am up early on a Saturday morning blogging about my troubles just ro avoid working on my latest story because I am suffering from writer’s block. That is where all of this leaves me… Stuck.


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